Cobra Spit

Don't Do This

I am a huge fan of events that flirt with that line between Brave and Stupid. This, however, is just stupid.

When I first heard about the Cooper's Hill cheese-rolling competition, I envisioned a hummer-sized ball of cheddar tumbling down a mountain with giddy souls rolling down behind it.

Instead, small groups take turns hurling themselves down a hill after a wimpy, plate-sized round of "double Gloucester," and a good amount of the competitors get carted off by the paramedics waiting at the bottom. The organizers say they generally have 30-40 people in need of treatment each year.

Amazingly, the event was canceled this year due to safety concerns for the spectators after more then 15,000 people showed up to watch the 2009 event. Former competitor Mike Smith had this to say about the news: "As a cheese-roller of many years, I look forward to the chance to really injure myself each year. I have no idea how I'll hurt myself this year now."

Here's a great video with injury highlights

Another kind of Surfing

Warm snowboarding. Wetsuit-less surfing. 300ft high "waves." Yeah, your chips may get a little sandy, but it should be worth the sacrifice.

Where: All over the world.

An ideal place for beginners is Oregon, where you can find board rental shops and sign up for lessons. There are 40 miles of dunes on the central Oregon coast, and Sand Master Park offers rentals, lessons, competitions, and other dune amenities.

When: Summer recommended (Sand Master Park is open 7 days/wk from June 1st - Sept. 10th).

Risk Factor: Probably akin to that of playing in a sandbox, unless you go to sites in New Zealand, where one surfer managed to get himself killed.

Due to the complete lack of badass sandboarding pictures

in Oregon, here's what you can look like if you go in Dubai!

Check out this Sandboarding in the Sahara video for more inspiration

Too Close for Comfort?

Shark Week not enough for you? Get personal with a great white from the safety of your own cage.

When: Shark "season" for your chosen destination (NorCal is late September to mid-November)

Where: Day trips are offered in San Francisco and Oahu (cheapest option), but multi-day shark adventures are also available in more exotic places like Egypt and Jamaica... if only.

Why: Great if you're looking for that "I'm too young to die" feeling.

Fun Shark Fact: Great whites often bite unfamiliar objects to identify them. So don't worry - the 20 ft long, 5000lb creature approaching you just wants to take a nibble.

Shark adventure options here and here

Rim to Rim...to Rim

Ignore the warning signs and take on a spectacular(ly long) run/hike through the Grand Canyon!

This well known route spanning the South-to-North rim (or vice versa) challenges the best ultrarunners.

When: October recommended

Why: Walking is for people with long attention spans and ski poles.

How: Take Bright Angel Route from the South Rim. You'll be on it for 47.5 miles round-trip. If you take South Kaibab Route (41.2 miles), you have to avoid mules, work with steeper drops/climbs, and there are fewer water stops.

Group Effort: If none of your friends think this is a good idea (¿whaaat?), Club Fat Ass members make the trip each year. You can try to tag along BUT it is "invitation only to those with a note from their significant other stating they will not forget to pack their headlamp and space blanket." Single event membership = $25. Find them at ClubFatAss.com.

Risk Factor:

[Caption: Warning DO NOT attempt to hike from the canyon rim to the river and back in one day. Each year hikers suffer from serious illness or death from exhaustion.]

More details on surviving here

You can't actually Do This. Anymore.

Tourists have been banned from the "Cueva de los Cristales," but it's probably worth trying to become a really important geologist to see this. Or a rogue miner.

Where: 1000 ft below the surface in the Naica Mine of Chihuahua, Mexico

How: The mega selenite crystals began forming over 600,000 years ago in a water-filled chamber heated by magma. They reach upwards of 37.4 feet long and 3 feet wide. The water table was lowered for mining in 1985 and the cave was accidentally discovered by miners in 2000.

Risk Factor: Heat stroke and, amazingly, drowning! A temp of 122 degree F + nearly 100% humidity = air condenses in your lungs without the right protection. Passed-out tourists had to be carried out of the cave --> tours are hard to come by.

Reflections from a visitor: "You know, there would be worse places to die"

More info here

Walk like a genie, talk like a genie, glow like a genie?

In the enchanted waters of Biobay, the water glows when you move.

When: Every night except the 4 or 5 days surrounding the full moon.

Where: Vieques Island off the east coast of Puerto Rico

Why: Instant cosmic powers! Swimming in a pool will never be the same. (according to Captain Grasso, "a swim is like floating through stardust.")

How: The bay has ~720,000 single-celled bioluminescent dionflagellates per gallon of water and they like to light up when agitated.

Risk Factor: Probably safe to say that drinking the water isn't recommended.

more dinoflagellate love here

24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell

Take on teams like "beslubbering dizzy-eyed flap-dragons" and "sandstone ninjas stole my billy goat" in the first endurance race of its kind. To be a contender you must lead climb and log your routes for points alll night long.

When: September 24-26, 2010

Where: Horseshoe Canyon Ranch near Jasper, AR

Why: as the organizers put it, "To endure what can only be explained as severe fatigue, dehydration, bloody fingertips and an unforgettable climbing experience"

or "Arkansas - not just for marrying your cousin"

Risk Factor: all imaginable scenarios involving heights, rocks, sleep depravation and falling

How: caffeine?

Details here

Taste of Chicago

Food ADD can be instantly cured by attending the largest food festival in the world. A bonkzillion (52) restaurants - from "Harold's Chicken #71" to "C'est ci Bon" - will be serving small samples from their diverse menus for 10 DAYS this July.

Note: huuge pre-4th fireworks display and more live music than you'd expect outside of a music festival also included.

When: June 25th - July 4th, 2010

Where: Grant Park, Chicago

Why: Small portions of deliciousness are everywhere - like being at a fancy hors d'oeuvres party minus the pretentiousness

Risk Factor: Obesity

More info on the Taste here

Hood to Coast

Feel like covering 197 miles in 31.5 hours with 7 to 11 friends? Feel like that route should include a mountain?? Portland's "Mother of All Relays" guides you from Mt. Hood to Seaside, OR. At least it's not the other way around.

When: August 27-29, 2010

Where: Start at Timberline Lodge, waay up there.

Why: Relays are fun. All night relays? With bears? Really fun.

Risk Factor: Bobcats, mountain lions, bears. Getting lost with bobcats, mountain lions and bears. Getting found by bobcats, mountain lions and bears

Get the details here