Surviving an Expedition Race

Pretend that you see the Primal Quest video and decide that expedition racing looks like a great idea. What if you happen to be like me and couldn't navigate your way out of a cardboard box? Do you plod on, always wondering if you could have conquered the Gobi Desert or the Strait of Magellan?

Enter Adventure Racing Camps: these 3-7 day programs give you the skills to navigate, whitewater raft, mountain bike and climb your way out of whatever you've gotten yourself into. They're generally cheaper than the races, and they're certainly cheaper than a hospital bill.

So venture on, Adventurer! But check out this site first.

Hash House Harriers

This "drinking club with a running problem" takes over neighborhoods worldwide on a weekly basis. I was about to write, "I honestly don't know how they stay out of jail"; turns out they don't.

Most of the arrests have to do with the flour they use to mark trails. Apparently, a few officers in New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York and Beijing thought these oddball cohorts of buzzed runners were throwing around giant piles of anthrax.

Where: With 1,938 groups in 186 countries, you can basically find a Hash run anywhere. Type in "Hash House Harriers" followed by a US city, and something will come up (I tried out "Amarillo").

When: Usually starts within happy hours of the workweek, but differs by chapter.

What: The hare gets a head start and marks a ~4-6 mile trail with flour and chalk. A reckless, urban scavenger hunt follows, complete with checkpoints and false trails. Groups have beer checks along the way, at the end, or none at all. Things get complicated when you factor in the hasher vocabulary, their bizunches of songs, their history, and, hell, even a conspiracy theory or two. But that's for other people to worry about.

Notable Quote: "15 enthused hashers storm NAU campus, ride bikes and shopping carts through the union, break dormitory elevator"

-Hash Happenings

Viking playing a Train Whistle

you're welcome

Most Amazing Sport, By Far

Take paragliding, multiply your speed by 2 or 3, add skis and a cliff, and you've got the incredible stew of dangerous ideas that is Speedflying. It's perfect for someone like Francois Bon, who describes paragliding as "really boring."

Where: Although there are schools in Utah, Oregon, and there's a pretty intimidating club in Colorado, the best of the best is in Switzerland.

Aspen Speedriding Club logo:

When: Ski season, wherever you are

How: Step 1: Learn how to ski. Step two: add kite.

Name Game: I like "speedflying" because it doesn't explain how you'll fly speedily, and "speedriding" isn't much better. Don't confuse it with kiteskiing (more about tricks, less about falling), or wingsuit skiing (base jumping with a wingsuit and skis, which has only been attempted once in Norway according to these people).

Some insane videos:

Disclaimer: Half of the speedflying videos or websites I've seen have an "in memory of..." portion. One of the founders of the sport, Mathias Roten, died speedflying in 2008.

Rally Report

The Rally to Restore Sanity didn't really go as planned, despite the fact that my only plan was to see the rally.

Here's the original post.

Pros: the weather, the cleaner-and-more-polite-than-your-average-rally crowd, signs made by said crowd, sincere apologies for foot treading.

Cons: I could kind of hear Stewart and Colbert, and when I put my camera in the air and zoomed in a lot, I could take a picture of a distant stage and then look at it wistfully.

After spending a couple of hours just trying to get to the back of the rally, I got kind of hungry and thirsty and claustrophobic and bored and ended up just watching it on TV.

These were some of my favorite signs and ralliers:

Bosphorus Race

I believe this is the only cross- continental swim, unaided by hurricanes. The creator's friends tried to talk him out of it: "the Bosphorus is too dirty, its currents are too unpredictable, the giant tankers and freighters that traverse it are too dangerous. On top of all that, it is illegal to swim anywhere but along the shore." ...BUT... "I was not dissuaded"
Champion!

When: 3rd Sunday in July

Where: 6.5 km (~4m) along the Bosphorus straight in Istanbul. Start in Asia and end in Europe!

Noteworthy POV from a British swim team: "...there we were one boiling July day in Istanbul, standing on the Asian bank of the Bosphorus Strait, surrounded by really hairy Turkish men in speedos, wondering how we actually got there." - The Sisterhood

The Competition: In recent races, over 800 people from 40 different countries have attempted to cover the distance within the 2 hour time limit. A Turkish athlete won this year by finishing in 41 minutes, and was presented his award by ants (or aliens?) in tuxedos.


Thank you so much, Dan, for this idea, the great sources, and for making up 25% of my immense following! Cami - I'm researching your warrior dash next :)

Things that are Made of Win

Squirrel Suits:

Caffeinated Crocodile Gum:

Enormous, flying dinosaurs (here's a hatzegopteryx that likes to eat giraffes):

Small Troy in his impenetrable "bear suit"

Surviving the north face of the Eiger, "murder wall"

Tornado-proof robot cars:

And finally, Skeleton racing. Here's the 2010 world cup winner!

Rally to Retore Sanity (and/or Fear)

I'm so excited about this un-rally and I have no idea why. The first rally to restore sanity and/or fear might be a hilarious stew of people who think politicians at either extreme need to chill out, or an awkward, aimless time (kind of like middle school).

When: October 30th, 2010, 12-3pm

Where: Washington DC, East end of the National Mall between 3rd and 7th street. Primary public entrance = 7th Street NW between Constitution and Independence Avenues.

What it has morphed into:
I don't exactly know if anything is planned for the rallies. Jon Stewart doesn't even seem to know what's going to happen [Larry King excerpt]:

KING: Who will be speaking other than you and your pal?

STEWART: You're saying we should have planned speakers?

KING: There are no speakers?

STEWART: Oh, Jesus. What --

KING: It’s just a bunch of people rallying?

STEWART: What exactly -- what would you --we got things planned. It's going to -- it’s going to shock maybe not even just this world, other worlds. Maybe aliens.

Colbert's agenda is based on shaking up Stewart's...

"America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was built on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear — that someone might take our Freedom and Liberty. But now, there are dark, optimistic forces trying to take away our Fear — forces with salt and pepper hair and way more Emmys than they need. They want to replace our Fear with reason. But never forget — 'Reason' is just one letter away from 'Treason.' Coincidence? Reasonable people would say it is, but America can’t afford to take that chance."

Officially, Stewart calls it "a rally for the people who've been too busy to go to rallies." Unofficially, the only thing that I can solidly count on being there is the port-o-loo that King gave Stewart the other night:

Worth Checking Out: Colbert's "Spooky or Dooky" costume contest page. My favorite is the Swine Flu Avenger:

Race Report

Soo I finally did a post!
Here's the original

TM Pros: Ridiculous, really well organized, lots of paramedics and military personnel around, great cause (wounded warrior project), great food, band, and free beer afterwords. They also had a complimentary mullet booth.

Cons: Effing cold water. This made the water cannon obstacle and the 2 swimming-related obstacles a lot harder than they seemed. If the TM you're doing takes place in a ski resort, this is probably going to be a factor... as will the ski slopes you'll have to run up, down, and up again. They also have these "remember, you signed a death waiver" signs along the way.

Mystery Obstacle 18: It was taking a shot of Tabasco sauce! Much better than the bears and/or sharks I was afraid they'd have waiting for us.

Note: Do it with a teammate. I did it solo, and although a team (the Budgee Smugglers) took pity on me for the obstacles where you needed to hurl one another over something, it would've been nice to race this thing as it's intended.

Mudder Championship: 48 hours of hell for finishers in the top 5% from all the other Mudders, plus 100 lucky winners who enter the random drawing. They "confidently predict" it will knock out 90% of the starting pack. "Expect 50 miles of mud, ice, snow, fire, hot coals, rock climbs, barbed wire, electric fencing, underwater swimming, boulder carries, rope climbs, extreme weather conditions and 100 ft dives from waterfalls."

The water cannon obstacle, free tattoo booth, me struggling, and a competitor in a pig suit (someone also did it in a Shrek costume):

ps - I was the 3rd girl! I managed to get there late and started with the 2nd wave so they tacked on 15 extra mins--> not sure what I am in the official results, but it's not 3rd

pps - I either qualified or won a lottery slot for the Mudder Championship. I got an ominous email the other day, and I'm thinking participating might not be the best idea.

Cobra Spit