24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell

Take on teams like "beslubbering dizzy-eyed flap-dragons" and "sandstone ninjas stole my billy goat" in the first endurance race of its kind. To be a contender you must lead climb and log your routes for points alll night long.

When: September 24-26, 2010

Where: Horseshoe Canyon Ranch near Jasper, AR

Why: as the organizers put it, "To endure what can only be explained as severe fatigue, dehydration, bloody fingertips and an unforgettable climbing experience"

or "Arkansas - not just for marrying your cousin"

Risk Factor: all imaginable scenarios involving heights, rocks, sleep depravation and falling

How: caffeine?

Details here

Taste of Chicago

Food ADD can be instantly cured by attending the largest food festival in the world. A bonkzillion (52) restaurants - from "Harold's Chicken #71" to "C'est ci Bon" - will be serving small samples from their diverse menus for 10 DAYS this July.

Note: huuge pre-4th fireworks display and more live music than you'd expect outside of a music festival also included.

When: June 25th - July 4th, 2010

Where: Grant Park, Chicago

Why: Small portions of deliciousness are everywhere - like being at a fancy hors d'oeuvres party minus the pretentiousness

Risk Factor: Obesity

More info on the Taste here

Hood to Coast

Feel like covering 197 miles in 31.5 hours with 7 to 11 friends? Feel like that route should include a mountain?? Portland's "Mother of All Relays" guides you from Mt. Hood to Seaside, OR. At least it's not the other way around.

When: August 27-29, 2010

Where: Start at Timberline Lodge, waay up there.

Why: Relays are fun. All night relays? With bears? Really fun.

Risk Factor: Bobcats, mountain lions, bears. Getting lost with bobcats, mountain lions and bears. Getting found by bobcats, mountain lions and bears

Get the details here

nothing to do with anything

Raz the British lemur

Biggest Water Slide Ever

Worth The Climb: drop down the 14 story "Insano" slide and go up to 65mph. It's not too expensive either, if you happen to be in Brazil.

Where: Porto das Dunas beach in the Municipality of Aquiraz, Brazil

Why: "Adrenalina = ******************"

Risk Factor: Doesn't come with breaks

If you're ok with missing out on the extra 15 feet, the second largest water slide, Summit Plummet, is at Blizzard Beach Water Park in Orlando.

Read all about Insano here

Rattlesnake Round-Up

Rattlesnake Parade + Fried Rattlesnake Eating Contest + Largest Rattlesnake Award + Beard Contest + Guided Snake Hunt + an overwhelming amount of other wtf events = Sweetwater, TX's claim to fame

When: 2nd weekend of March

Where: Nolan County Coliseum at Newman Park, Sweetwater, Tx

Why: show off your amazing beard, eat some rattlesnakes

Risk Factor: pretty obvious

You can start planning your ideal rattlesnake weekend here

here's everything you'll need to go on a

guided snake hunt:

Tri Squared

Ever wanted to do a triathlon? Ever thought doing just one triathlon was for quitters? Now you can do three in a row in one epically painful weekend.

Three triathlons take place at the Wildflower festival. Most athletes aim to complete one, while a few brave and/or stupid souls decide to do them all.

Distances: Long Course = 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run

Olympic = .93 mile swim, 24.8 mile bike, 6.2 mile run

Sprint = .25 mile swim, 9.7 mile mountain bike, 2 mile run

Logistics: Start with the Long Course swim at 8am. Chill out. Start the Sprint tri at 9:45am with another swim. On finishing the Sprint, hop on your road bike and complete the Long Course tri. Go into a coma-like sleep. Start the Olympic tri at 9am the following morning. Attempt to stay alive long enough to finish.

When: April 30th - May 1st 2011

Where: Lake San Antonio, Monterey County CA

Why: You have a lot of time, money, and you've lost your damn mind

Risk Factor: dehydration, hallucination, death, hallucinating death

More on the Avia Wildflower Triathlon festival aqui

Extreme Ice Cream

Ghirardelli Square Chocolate Festival Earthquake Ice Cream Eating Contest: so much deliciousness in one ginormous title

When: September 11-12, 2010 12-5pm for the festival (looking for the contest time)

Where: Ghirardelli Square, 900 North Point Street, San Francisco

Why: This is your only chance to smush your face into a pile of ice cream sundae in public

Risk Factor: Brain freeze followed by food coma

Chocolate festival website

The '08 Champion:

International Do This!

It could be worth traveling to South Korea when it involves a Mud Super Slide and a Mud Mega Bath.

The Boryeong Mud Festival addresses every mud-related need for days along the beach.

When: 7/17 - 7/25 2010

Where: Daecheon Beach near Boryeong-si, Chungcheongnam-do, South Korea

Why: They claim their mud gets rid of wrinkles and/or adds a decade to your life.

Risk Factor: all clothes in and around the festival should probably be burned later

More info here

Plungapalooza

I will never do this because I am a strong supporter of warmth and happiness. That said, if you feel like going for a swim in January in Maryland, you're in luck!

When: 8am on January 29th, 2011

Where: Sandy Point State Park, Annapolis MD

Why: I have no idea (it does raise money for Special Olympics MD, but there are other ways of going about that)

Risk Factor: almost certain hypothermia, self-loathing

Price: You actually have to pay to do this to yourself: "All it takes to take the Plunge is $50 in pledges and nerves of steel." At least you get a sweatshirt out of it.

More info

There's also a Polar Bear Pageant, because what says America like a hypothermic beauty queen?

Tough Mudder

Ever wondered if you were strong enough to rescue children from a burning, obstacle-ridden war zone with a broken compass? I know I think about those kinds of scenarios all the time.

Where: 14 locations from San Francisco to Massachusetts throughout the year

Why: for the children

Risk Factor: This course is basically designed to kill you at each of its 19 stations. The most death is at station 19 (you find out what it is when you get there)

Why I Keep Mentioning Children: You have to climb over a school bus

Everything you could ever want to know here

If You Survive: They offer tattoos of the Tough Mudder logo. Add some more pain to your day for no extra charge.

Crash Race

Wolfpack Hustle: Race 26.1 miles in the heart of LA without any traffic.

When: 4am on whatever morning happens to be before le thon

Where: Start = TANG's DONUT Sunset and fountain 90027.

End = Santa Monica Peir

(Register at 3am)

Why: you'll move through LA a hell of a lot faster than you would in a car

Their reasons why: "Estimated 74% increase in Street Cred Level, Mad Prizes, Dog Tags to the Winners"

Rules: Anything goes

Risk Factor: Trumps no pants day and Lombard race

Find the gritty website of the regulars here

NO PANTS day

This is the only day when forgetting your pants is actually encouraged.

When: Generally within the 1st week of January. New Years resolution, anyone?

Where: 44 cities now participating. The 1st/biggest/most awesome one goes on in NYC (also gets a lot of cojones points for being heinously cold)

Why: ¿Why not?

Rules: DON'T FORGET THE UNDERWEAR

Risk Factor: Chance of arrest. Git the day right.

Price: classy delicates/crazy manly boxers you want to show off

Find the inspirational inventors here

Big Wheel Race Down Lombard Street

The best way to turn a holiday associated with bunnies and ducks into a completely ridiculous exercise in near-death experiences? Easter BYOBigWheel Lombard race!

When: Easter Sunday ~4

Rules: Tires have to be hard plastic. Looks like whales are also an option

Risk Factor: "As the race is designed for plastic children's toys which are prone to falure when carrying over 80 pounds, winning isn't the goal here - survival is."

Price: Free! (if you happen to have a big wheel lying around)

relatively informative website here