Most Amazing Sport, By Far

Take paragliding, multiply your speed by 2 or 3, add skis and a cliff, and you've got the incredible stew of dangerous ideas that is Speedflying. It's perfect for someone like Francois Bon, who describes paragliding as "really boring."

Where: Although there are schools in Utah, Oregon, and there's a pretty intimidating club in Colorado, the best of the best is in Switzerland.

Aspen Speedriding Club logo:

When: Ski season, wherever you are

How: Step 1: Learn how to ski. Step two: add kite.

Name Game: I like "speedflying" because it doesn't explain how you'll fly speedily, and "speedriding" isn't much better. Don't confuse it with kiteskiing (more about tricks, less about falling), or wingsuit skiing (base jumping with a wingsuit and skis, which has only been attempted once in Norway according to these people).

Some insane videos:

Disclaimer: Half of the speedflying videos or websites I've seen have an "in memory of..." portion. One of the founders of the sport, Mathias Roten, died speedflying in 2008.

Rally Report

The Rally to Restore Sanity didn't really go as planned, despite the fact that my only plan was to see the rally.

Here's the original post.

Pros: the weather, the cleaner-and-more-polite-than-your-average-rally crowd, signs made by said crowd, sincere apologies for foot treading.

Cons: I could kind of hear Stewart and Colbert, and when I put my camera in the air and zoomed in a lot, I could take a picture of a distant stage and then look at it wistfully.

After spending a couple of hours just trying to get to the back of the rally, I got kind of hungry and thirsty and claustrophobic and bored and ended up just watching it on TV.

These were some of my favorite signs and ralliers:

Bosphorus Race

I believe this is the only cross- continental swim, unaided by hurricanes. The creator's friends tried to talk him out of it: "the Bosphorus is too dirty, its currents are too unpredictable, the giant tankers and freighters that traverse it are too dangerous. On top of all that, it is illegal to swim anywhere but along the shore." ...BUT... "I was not dissuaded"
Champion!

When: 3rd Sunday in July

Where: 6.5 km (~4m) along the Bosphorus straight in Istanbul. Start in Asia and end in Europe!

Noteworthy POV from a British swim team: "...there we were one boiling July day in Istanbul, standing on the Asian bank of the Bosphorus Strait, surrounded by really hairy Turkish men in speedos, wondering how we actually got there." - The Sisterhood

The Competition: In recent races, over 800 people from 40 different countries have attempted to cover the distance within the 2 hour time limit. A Turkish athlete won this year by finishing in 41 minutes, and was presented his award by ants (or aliens?) in tuxedos.


Thank you so much, Dan, for this idea, the great sources, and for making up 25% of my immense following! Cami - I'm researching your warrior dash next :)

Things that are Made of Win

Squirrel Suits:

Caffeinated Crocodile Gum:

Enormous, flying dinosaurs (here's a hatzegopteryx that likes to eat giraffes):

Small Troy in his impenetrable "bear suit"

Surviving the north face of the Eiger, "murder wall"

Tornado-proof robot cars:

And finally, Skeleton racing. Here's the 2010 world cup winner!

Rally to Retore Sanity (and/or Fear)

I'm so excited about this un-rally and I have no idea why. The first rally to restore sanity and/or fear might be a hilarious stew of people who think politicians at either extreme need to chill out, or an awkward, aimless time (kind of like middle school).

When: October 30th, 2010, 12-3pm

Where: Washington DC, East end of the National Mall between 3rd and 7th street. Primary public entrance = 7th Street NW between Constitution and Independence Avenues.

What it has morphed into:
I don't exactly know if anything is planned for the rallies. Jon Stewart doesn't even seem to know what's going to happen [Larry King excerpt]:

KING: Who will be speaking other than you and your pal?

STEWART: You're saying we should have planned speakers?

KING: There are no speakers?

STEWART: Oh, Jesus. What --

KING: It’s just a bunch of people rallying?

STEWART: What exactly -- what would you --we got things planned. It's going to -- it’s going to shock maybe not even just this world, other worlds. Maybe aliens.

Colbert's agenda is based on shaking up Stewart's...

"America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was built on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear — that someone might take our Freedom and Liberty. But now, there are dark, optimistic forces trying to take away our Fear — forces with salt and pepper hair and way more Emmys than they need. They want to replace our Fear with reason. But never forget — 'Reason' is just one letter away from 'Treason.' Coincidence? Reasonable people would say it is, but America can’t afford to take that chance."

Officially, Stewart calls it "a rally for the people who've been too busy to go to rallies." Unofficially, the only thing that I can solidly count on being there is the port-o-loo that King gave Stewart the other night:

Worth Checking Out: Colbert's "Spooky or Dooky" costume contest page. My favorite is the Swine Flu Avenger:

Race Report

Soo I finally did a post!
Here's the original

TM Pros: Ridiculous, really well organized, lots of paramedics and military personnel around, great cause (wounded warrior project), great food, band, and free beer afterwords. They also had a complimentary mullet booth.

Cons: Effing cold water. This made the water cannon obstacle and the 2 swimming-related obstacles a lot harder than they seemed. If the TM you're doing takes place in a ski resort, this is probably going to be a factor... as will the ski slopes you'll have to run up, down, and up again. They also have these "remember, you signed a death waiver" signs along the way.

Mystery Obstacle 18: It was taking a shot of Tabasco sauce! Much better than the bears and/or sharks I was afraid they'd have waiting for us.

Note: Do it with a teammate. I did it solo, and although a team (the Budgee Smugglers) took pity on me for the obstacles where you needed to hurl one another over something, it would've been nice to race this thing as it's intended.

Mudder Championship: 48 hours of hell for finishers in the top 5% from all the other Mudders, plus 100 lucky winners who enter the random drawing. They "confidently predict" it will knock out 90% of the starting pack. "Expect 50 miles of mud, ice, snow, fire, hot coals, rock climbs, barbed wire, electric fencing, underwater swimming, boulder carries, rope climbs, extreme weather conditions and 100 ft dives from waterfalls."

The water cannon obstacle, free tattoo booth, me struggling, and a competitor in a pig suit (someone also did it in a Shrek costume):

ps - I was the 3rd girl! I managed to get there late and started with the 2nd wave so they tacked on 15 extra mins--> not sure what I am in the official results, but it's not 3rd

pps - I either qualified or won a lottery slot for the Mudder Championship. I got an ominous email the other day, and I'm thinking participating might not be the best idea.

Cobra Spit

Don't Do This

I am a huge fan of events that flirt with that line between Brave and Stupid. This, however, is just stupid.

When I first heard about the Cooper's Hill cheese-rolling competition, I envisioned a hummer-sized ball of cheddar tumbling down a mountain with giddy souls rolling down behind it.

Instead, small groups take turns hurling themselves down a hill after a wimpy, plate-sized round of "double Gloucester," and a good amount of the competitors get carted off by the paramedics waiting at the bottom. The organizers say they generally have 30-40 people in need of treatment each year.

Amazingly, the event was canceled this year due to safety concerns for the spectators after more then 15,000 people showed up to watch the 2009 event. Former competitor Mike Smith had this to say about the news: "As a cheese-roller of many years, I look forward to the chance to really injure myself each year. I have no idea how I'll hurt myself this year now."

Here's a great video with injury highlights

Another kind of Surfing

Warm snowboarding. Wetsuit-less surfing. 300ft high "waves." Yeah, your chips may get a little sandy, but it should be worth the sacrifice.

Where: All over the world.

An ideal place for beginners is Oregon, where you can find board rental shops and sign up for lessons. There are 40 miles of dunes on the central Oregon coast, and Sand Master Park offers rentals, lessons, competitions, and other dune amenities.

When: Summer recommended (Sand Master Park is open 7 days/wk from June 1st - Sept. 10th).

Risk Factor: Probably akin to that of playing in a sandbox, unless you go to sites in New Zealand, where one surfer managed to get himself killed.

Due to the complete lack of badass sandboarding pictures

in Oregon, here's what you can look like if you go in Dubai!

Check out this Sandboarding in the Sahara video for more inspiration

Too Close for Comfort?

Shark Week not enough for you? Get personal with a great white from the safety of your own cage.

When: Shark "season" for your chosen destination (NorCal is late September to mid-November)

Where: Day trips are offered in San Francisco and Oahu (cheapest option), but multi-day shark adventures are also available in more exotic places like Egypt and Jamaica... if only.

Why: Great if you're looking for that "I'm too young to die" feeling.

Fun Shark Fact: Great whites often bite unfamiliar objects to identify them. So don't worry - the 20 ft long, 5000lb creature approaching you just wants to take a nibble.

Shark adventure options here and here

Rim to Rim...to Rim

Ignore the warning signs and take on a spectacular(ly long) run/hike through the Grand Canyon!

This well known route spanning the South-to-North rim (or vice versa) challenges the best ultrarunners.

When: October recommended

Why: Walking is for people with long attention spans and ski poles.

How: Take Bright Angel Route from the South Rim. You'll be on it for 47.5 miles round-trip. If you take South Kaibab Route (41.2 miles), you have to avoid mules, work with steeper drops/climbs, and there are fewer water stops.

Group Effort: If none of your friends think this is a good idea (¿whaaat?), Club Fat Ass members make the trip each year. You can try to tag along BUT it is "invitation only to those with a note from their significant other stating they will not forget to pack their headlamp and space blanket." Single event membership = $25. Find them at ClubFatAss.com.

Risk Factor:

[Caption: Warning DO NOT attempt to hike from the canyon rim to the river and back in one day. Each year hikers suffer from serious illness or death from exhaustion.]

More details on surviving here

You can't actually Do This. Anymore.

Tourists have been banned from the "Cueva de los Cristales," but it's probably worth trying to become a really important geologist to see this. Or a rogue miner.

Where: 1000 ft below the surface in the Naica Mine of Chihuahua, Mexico

How: The mega selenite crystals began forming over 600,000 years ago in a water-filled chamber heated by magma. They reach upwards of 37.4 feet long and 3 feet wide. The water table was lowered for mining in 1985 and the cave was accidentally discovered by miners in 2000.

Risk Factor: Heat stroke and, amazingly, drowning! A temp of 122 degree F + nearly 100% humidity = air condenses in your lungs without the right protection. Passed-out tourists had to be carried out of the cave --> tours are hard to come by.

Reflections from a visitor: "You know, there would be worse places to die"

More info here

Walk like a genie, talk like a genie, glow like a genie?

In the enchanted waters of Biobay, the water glows when you move.

When: Every night except the 4 or 5 days surrounding the full moon.

Where: Vieques Island off the east coast of Puerto Rico

Why: Instant cosmic powers! Swimming in a pool will never be the same. (according to Captain Grasso, "a swim is like floating through stardust.")

How: The bay has ~720,000 single-celled bioluminescent dionflagellates per gallon of water and they like to light up when agitated.

Risk Factor: Probably safe to say that drinking the water isn't recommended.

more dinoflagellate love here

24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell

Take on teams like "beslubbering dizzy-eyed flap-dragons" and "sandstone ninjas stole my billy goat" in the first endurance race of its kind. To be a contender you must lead climb and log your routes for points alll night long.

When: September 24-26, 2010

Where: Horseshoe Canyon Ranch near Jasper, AR

Why: as the organizers put it, "To endure what can only be explained as severe fatigue, dehydration, bloody fingertips and an unforgettable climbing experience"

or "Arkansas - not just for marrying your cousin"

Risk Factor: all imaginable scenarios involving heights, rocks, sleep depravation and falling

How: caffeine?

Details here

Taste of Chicago

Food ADD can be instantly cured by attending the largest food festival in the world. A bonkzillion (52) restaurants - from "Harold's Chicken #71" to "C'est ci Bon" - will be serving small samples from their diverse menus for 10 DAYS this July.

Note: huuge pre-4th fireworks display and more live music than you'd expect outside of a music festival also included.

When: June 25th - July 4th, 2010

Where: Grant Park, Chicago

Why: Small portions of deliciousness are everywhere - like being at a fancy hors d'oeuvres party minus the pretentiousness

Risk Factor: Obesity

More info on the Taste here